In today’s world, sexuality is the pitch of many platforms. For example, there are many adverts that display a sexy looking woman, which in reality has no relationship with what is being advertised.
However the sexuality message is disseminated, it’s important to know how sex affects you and your relationship.
Well, before we delve into this discussion, I should say that if you are a Christian, then the first reason to delay sex until marriage is that the word of God instructs you to and perhaps you are already sexually involved with your partner, there is still room for a change.
So here are 7 ways sex before marriage affects you
1. It disrupts your fellowship with God
- This should be the primary reason to delay sex until marriage. One of the main issues with premarital sex is the feeling of guilt when we try to have fellowship with God. I never saw a person that could easily say a prayer after premarital sex. The first thing a person is inclined to do is ask God for forgiveness, in order to try to restore fellowship. Many people however, retain the guilt and this prevents them from having a rich fellowship with God.
A study published in the Journal of Family Psychology showed that couples who waited until marriage
- rated sexual quality 15% higher than people who had premarital sex
- rated relationship stability as 22% higher
- rated satisfaction with their relationship 20% higher
2 Your partner may suddenly find you uninteresting
There are many instances where ladies have stated that their partner found them uninteresting after they had sex. Well, this certainly is true for many people and most time the lady goes away heartbroken.
This is also proof that one party was actually in the relationship purely for the sex.
3. You may get attached to the wrong person
Sex is a bonding agent between two people irrespective of their marital status. I have seen people that were in abusive relations and could not get out because they were attached to their partner, and your guess is right, they were already having sex.
4. You may get married for the wrong reasons
There are many people stuck in poor relationships mainly because of the sexual prowess of their partner.
Well, the sad thing is that quite a number of these kinds of relationships proceed to marriage and have poor outcomes.
5. You may be unknowingly setting the foundation for marital unfaithfulness
When outside marriage, sex is like an addiction. This is evidenced by the fact that once a person indulges in sex a few times irrespective of marital status, it’s actually pretty difficult to stop.
Premarital sex sets the stage for multiple sexual partners as many relationships don’t proceed to marriage and people move on to other relationships.
If premarital sex is a norm for you then you would have had sex with quite a number of people before marriage depending on how many relationships you’ve been in.
Well, the thing about this is that your brain remembers all the sexual experience you have gathered over time, much of which your spouse may not have the skills or stamina to create.
This then creates a craving in you for a sexual experience you’ve had in the past and may just be what drives you to marital unfaithfulness.
I have heard many people say “I can never cheat on my spouse” but given the right combination of adverse circumstances, anyone can cheat. The key is to avoid those circumstances and I would show how to at the end of this article, so keep reading.
6. You may be training yourself in the art of divorce
Divorce is the dissolution of a marriage and this may be due to many reasons. The thing about divorce is that two people that have bonded over a period of time break up. I’m referring to the kind of bonding that occurs when two people have sex.
Well, many people experience the exact same thing in relationships. Breakups are usually associated with pain and emotional heartbreaks and many people go through this several times before they eventually get married, not realizing that series of breakups have imbibed in them a divorce mentality.
Yes, many people go into marriage with a mindset that is ready to quit even at the slightest challenge not because they are bad but because multiple breakups prior to marriage have conditioned them that way.
7. sex masks problems in your partner
This probably needs no elaborate explanation. When you have premarital sex with a person, this prevents you from seeing obvious issues/problems in this person.
The way out
This article would be meaningless if I do not offer a way out for people that are already deep in premarital sex.
I stated earlier in this article that “Premarital sex is like an addiction”.
Well, if there is one thing to know about addictions, it’s that an addict cannot simply decide to stop based on will power.
The same applies to premarital sex but thank God there is a way out.
Here is a 3 step summary of how to stop premarital sex
1. Repent and ask God for help in prayer
2. Create a 30day fellowship plan
3. Avoid settings that stimulate sex.
Read the full article on how to break any addiction.